(The selected Web links in the copy are the authors.) 
              "Unlike Christians, Santorum and his fellow Roman Catholics participate in a   barbaric ritual dating back two millennia, a 'mass' in which a black-robed   cleric casts a spell over some bread and wine, transfiguring it into the actual   living flesh and blood of their Christ. 
              Followers then line up to eat the   Jesus meat and drink his holy blood in a cannibalistic reverie not often seen   outside Cinemax.
              Roman Catholics like Santorum take their orders from 'the Pope,' a high   priest who, they believe, chats with God. Santorum has made no secret of his   plans to implement his leader's dicta on allowed uses of vaginas and anuses, but   has said little about what additional dogma he will be compelled to obey. 
              Will   child killers and terrorists go unexecuted on the Pope's say-so? Will we be able   to conduct our wars as we see fit, or only the 'just' ones? If Santorum is a   good Catholic, and he appears to be among the very best, our real president with   be Benedict XVI (a 'former' Nazi, by the way)." 
              Larry Doyle, HuffingtonPost's (haha) Comedy Section. . . . Read More