Idiot Sighting #1:

This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"

I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail (does your e-mail work without a telephone line?)

Idiot Sighting #2:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.

She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Idiot Sighting #3:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

Idiot Sighting #4:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg."

Idiot Sighting #5:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #6:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Idiot Sighting #7:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #8:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"

To which he replied, "I know, I already got that side."